7 Fishy Failures in 2011

I really need to write this to move on and be a better person

With this post I can refer back in 31,December 2012 and check whether ive turned better

I m at home now,21:26pm 31st December 2011

Had work 9am-530pm

Is invited to dinings, celebrations ,parties, etc..

But i prefer stay home.

Why?

Its fucking cold out there!!

Maybe not for you. But it is for me =(

I remember when i was in Malaysia

My mother always lye on her comfortable big Q sized bed and watch TV on the New Years Eve

While all her children were busy partying and celebrating

N now i somehow feel what she feels

It is very necessary to have proper ways to relax

Something like this ~

Hehee, My cute and loveliest mother =) !

Ok now i really wanna write seriously

I ve also seriously flashed back all my memories to find out what did i failed to do or should i say what mistakes did i made throughout the whole year..

and i found out it is uncountable..

I cant help

I felt whatever i did was wrong

N i am supposed to do better

anytime,everywhere,everything

1ST FAILURE : I WASTED RM10,000+

I was lost in choosing universities that I should enter

Was uncertain of my future,my interests and also my future prospect

There was not any specific path that i wanted to enter

Therefore, I caused my mama to pay twice entrance fee to 2 different unis

very wasteful

10k can brings me a new nose,new chin , and also a liposuction of hips

2ND FAILURE :DIET

I ve been tell everyone in the world that i wanna diet since FORM 3

when i was 14 years old

I tried many fucking ways but it turns out I gained more weight then losing them

Why isit so? Cuz I cant control my desire to eat whenever I felt lonely,sad, unsastified,stressed

When I was young my leg was so slim! the face still chubby but the size of my body had dramatically CHANGED.

The me now. Sad but need to admit.

Can u spot the super XXL face legs hands stomach?

Lost a lil weight then last year but stil on the 5X lvl.

Hate it.2012.22 years old.

I wanna be slim! Grr. Damn angry of myself.

3rd FAILURE : LAZY and RELUCTANT

Skipped schools sometimes for stupid reasons

Such as

[Its too cold today]

[Nvr do homework scared to face teacher]

[Raining]

[No attendance taken for that specific class]

[Class too boring]

Skipped class not because i had other things to do

Usually just sleep at home like a lazy pig

I hate myself for being like this too

My mother is paying for my school fees but i m just wasting her effort and money

and also her hope towards me !

I m so sorry...

4TH FAILURE : OVER OBSESSED to BEAUTY

I had minimal plactic surgeries on my face last year

the effects are almost gone right now

but i really did feel good

Clothes,shoes, things to make me feel pretty are my only obsessions and things i m really interested in

Spent alot money buying clothes and make ups

If i ever saved all the money perhaps i able to buy a car now

What do u prefer?

Pretty clothes and a nice face

or a car

I m afraid this obsession will not fade

forever n ever

I even plan to do real surgeries to have double eyelids,taller nose etc..

If only i have the money

5th : OWAYS BREAK PROMISES

This is the really sad n 残念thing for me

I really dint mean to

I remember Zen, asked me to club almost 4 or 5 times

everytime i said OK I wanna go but finally there are always lots of excuses from me

I really wanted to go really really really

Same to 朴さん、she had been asking me for outings or clubbings for like 3 months?

everytime i said ok,but finally i will feel lazy n cold hot tired etc.

>,<

The promise of Disneyland with Haruka,Daiki and Yohei too

i really wanted to!!but i just feel i need to be at the best timing and the best me

Fan Fans burfday celebration,Shopping session with Eliz. Lots lots.

I m feeling very guilty now

I promise I will make it out !!

Please allow me to apologize here !! Sowee!!

6TH : MESSY ROOM and MESSY CHARACTER

Before and After

Especially when i am rushing

When I cant figure out what to wear

Or when I am finding a certain piece of clothe of a certain jewelry

My room will turns out like this

And I will tidy it up again

And it turns messy again

it just never ends

So one of the 2012s Objective

Have a Clean room always

I need to start from tomorrow!!

7th FAILURE : X

I still have the 7th, which is the worst part of me

but I m still wondering how should i write about it

It is about my attitude towards love

And towards myself

Writing this might harm my current boyfriend

He is 100% tolerant

100% pampers me and im very grateful that he is beside me all the time

soperhaps I shall keep dis feeling on mine in my deep lil heart or share them with my LAST members in whatsapp =)

Thanks to ASAI for accompanying me all the time

My up and downs

My happines and sadness in 2011

Finally,

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

LETs WELCOME THE NEW 2012 NEW SELF N

EW HOPE NEW DREAM EVERYTHING NEW!!

BYE.With love by the Forever Fatty Fish------------>